On September 3, 2008, my grandson “ Eli” was born. He is my daughter’s first child. I had the privilege of being with her during the last two months of the pregnancy, present in the birthing room when he was born and allowed the honor of cutting the umbilical cord. It was an experience I will always cherish and never forget. As I watch him grow I often think back on the day I first held him minutes after his birth. I sang a song to him when I held him at two minutes old. It was the same song I sang to him while he was still in my daughters womb. I wanted to see if he would respond. I was not surprised when he turned his head toward me as if he recognized my voice, then tried to open his swollen eyes.
I also remember my surprise at the major differences between my daughter’s birth experience and my own when she was born. My overall feeling was disappointment. It seem that the birth was technology- controlled and my daughter was just a bystander, the same as Eli’s father and myself. We made it to the hospital when her contractions were about fifteen minutes apart. She had one really hard labor pain and they hooked her up to an IV and monitor. Within a few minutes she was calm and chatting with us as if nothing was going on. She only knew she was having a contraction when the monitor told her she was having one. The nurse was able to read the monitor and estimate a time the baby would be born and was accurate almost to the minute. My daughter never experienced labor as I remembered doing. Her father and I worked to prepare for natural childbirth and that is how we did it. The beauty of our birthing experience was the moment our baby was born, the pain and struggle immediately became a distant memory in light of holding our little girl. I often think my experience made me a stronger woman and strengthened the bond between my husband and myself. Realizing I could endure such pain, with joy, to bring my child into the world elevated my maturity level. Also it was an humbling experience for William (my husband/her father). He came to appreciate what a woman endures to bring a child into the world. At the end of my daughter’s birthing experience I was disappointed and left thinking that she has a baby, but missed the beauty of the whole experience.
After Eli’s birth an initial assessments were made that determined he was fine. My second surprise came when the focus immediately shifted from the baby to my daughter. It was not because anything was wrong, but because she agreed to donate the placenta for research. They wanted to harvest it safely so the baby, a nurse his father and myself were moved to another side of the room while my daughter and her surroundings were re-sanitized for the harvest. We held the baby before she did. Remembering back they barely let her father in the delivery room when she was born.
It seems that childbirth experiences in Africa are evolving the same as they have since my daughter was born and the birth of her first child. Traditionally fathers were not active participants in the birth of their children. Now African men have started to take more active roles like participate in classes and present during the births. Birthing experiences are also evolving from birth in huts to births in labor-and-delivery rooms designed specifically for natural births. I am sure as time passes and technology becomes more available they will also experience the change to painless childbirth.
